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5 Things Everybody Ought to Know About the 2013 NBA Playoffs

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It’s that time of year again. The NBA playoffs are here. There are 5 things everybody ought to know about the 2013 NBA Playoffs.

1. Carmelo Anthony is T-Mac 2.0

Don’t be fooled by the upstart Knickerbockers. Don’t get suckered by the scoring title. Carmelo Anthony is still Carmelo Anthony. In the words of the immortal Chuckster, “You don’t live by jumpers, you die by jumpers.”

In no way are the Knicks anything but a jump shooting team. Look for the Knicks-Celtics series to go the distance.

2. The Basketball Gods Have Cursed the Lakers

mambadownBlame the sportswriters who awarded the currently injured Steve Nash an inexplicable 2 MVP awards. Blame David Stern for vetoing the trade for Chris Paul. Most importantly, blame Jim “Short” Buss for trading for Dwight Howard, keeping Pau Gasol on the trading block, and hiring Mike “Pringles” Antoni (I refuse to put D in front of his name because his teams play none.).

The aforementioned series of events defy logic. Even Odysseus feels sorry for Kobe. It must be the basketball gods.

3. Derrick Rose Is Not Gingerly Walking Through That Door

ROSEoutChicago fans are amazing. That being said, Nate Robinson is currently your best offensive player. When Derrick Rose returns, next year, the Bulls will be a force to be reckoned with.

Bringing him back at this point would doom the Bulls the same way bringing Jameer Nelson back doomed the Magic.

4. CP3 Will Be Disappointed in Blake Griffin Before the End of the Second Round

blake-griffin-chris-paulLob City will carry on through the playoffs. Unfortunately, Blake Griffin’s Kia commercials are correct. He still needs to practice his free throws (to his credit, he is shooting a career high 66%) and his mid-range jumper (32% on shots beyond 15 feet).

Blake is also averaging career lows in rebounds and defensive rating with his second worse blocks per game average (0.6).

5. The Bucks Have No Chance

There’s nothing more to say.

Enjoy the first round.